


Forget Him

by Pastel_Teacups



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3179054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastel_Teacups/pseuds/Pastel_Teacups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He hoped Kieren died. Maybe then he’d get some peace. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Him

It’d started off simple. 

Gary pushed, and Kieren pushed back. That was it. 

It never stretched beyond that, beyond swearing at one another in the streets or getting into near-fistfights at the nearest pub. 

But then, it changed. 

Something shifted within them, twisting and changing until they became something entirely different from before. 

And one day, when Kieren was sixteen and Gary was twenty, their lips crashed together in something merciless and terrible and indescribably perfect. 

It’d been behind the pub, so nobody was there to see it, but when Kieren pulled away for air with his kiss-reddened lips and rumpled leather jacket, Gary could only stare. 

Kiss had never been the right word for it. It had never been something romantic. 

And from there, it only escalated. 

Their fights became yelling matches with stolen kisses behind the pub, both with the knowledge of how utterly and entirely _wrong_ this was. 

Because Kieren was young, too young, and he was hated and rude and what could only be described as the town nuisance. But Gary _wanted_ him, and one very late night Gary started _needing_ him.

He never admitted it, though, even to himself. Couldn’t.

One night, deep in the darkness of somewhere that didn’t matter while they were kissing desperately and bruisingly, an overly-eager and too-young Kieren shoved his hands beneath the waistband of Gary’s jeans and everything went blurry. 

That kid would be the death of him, Gary was sure. 

It only got worse from there, and Gary’s head started aching whenever Kieren wasn’t around to numb the pain. 

Something was wrong with him. 

Whenever he _was_ there, though, Kieren began to feel like a drug he couldn’t live without. 

And he didn’t know how to make it stop. 

While Kieren held hands with Rick in the dark of hidden caves Gary was the real deal, even if it was something quick and angry in the bathroom of the nearest minimart. Though it wasn’t much consolation to Gary, Kieren seemed to need it just as much as he did.

But, to the utter drop of his heart, Kieren didn’t need it in quite the same way. 

Instead of needing Gary for Gary he needed Gary for Rick, who was too afraid of his father to give Kieren what he truly needed. Gary guessed he must have been the next best thing. 

It was terrible and destructive and terrifying, but Gary couldn’t stop. This _thing_ they had, hateful and mean and angry as it was, had taken over Gary’s life. 

But everything changed the night he heard the news.

\----

“D’you hear about that Walker kid?” 

Gary tries to keep his heart from pounding in his chest at the sound of Kieren’s implied name. “What about him?” 

His mate took a sip from his beer, as if the information wasn’t something Gary was aching to know. 

He tapped his fingers anxiously against the bar as the man finished off his pint before speaking, wondering just what could be important enough for the whole town to have heard about it. 

“Offed himself on Saturday.” He said casually, as if he was talking about the weather and not the wellbeing of somebody Gary _knew,_ knew in a way he hadn’t known anyone before. 

Gary fought to keep his face and voice level, and had to take a moment to compose himself before speaking. “Did he?” 

“Yeah. Never liked him, you know. Didn’t seem quite right in the head.” 

His knuckles were white against the wood of the bar. “Yeah, you may be right.” 

When he got home that night, he cried for the first time in years. 

\----

He went to the funeral and stood in the back, just barely making out Kieren’s pale face between the dark dresses and mourning statures. 

_Why?_

He didn’t want to believe it, but the evidence was right in front of him. And he never got an answer.

\----

Six months later bodies rose from their graves, and Gary had no choice but to fight. 

\----

Four years later he was supposed to be done fighting, but Gary’d forgotten anything but war. 

\----

 

A year later, and Kieren returned. 

Gary thought he’d been dreaming when Kieren’s face appeared in the pub that night, just because of how _wrong_ it all was. Kieren, the Kieren that was never his, wearing soft colors and looking like a deer caught in Rick-shaped headlights. 

And Rick had returned too, and Kieren looked at him the way romantics look at the moon even when Rick laughed brightly at the joke made at Kieren’s expense.

Kieren was back, and Gary was lost. 

\----

He made out Kieren’s broken face at Rick’s funeral, and almost felt sorry for him. 

\----

Gary pushed, but Kieren had long since stopped pushing back. 

\----

When Kieren’s new and undead friends decided to have a “night out” at the pub Gary pushed, and for the first time since his return Kieren actually pushed back, his face contorted in anger and not even half of the fire he used to have. 

But the Irish one interfered before Gary could try again, and Kieren had turned and walked away before he could even glance at him again. 

Gary missed Kieren. But he couldn’t admit it to himself. 

\----

Jem was the closest thing to Kieren in a different way, and while he cared about her more than most anyone else in this damned village, it wasn’t quite like that. 

But she fit in his arms and seemed to need it as much as he did, and that was enough. Had to be enough. 

He was a hypocrite, he knew that much, but it was something he just simply couldn’t help. 

\----

At lunch that day Gary wanted to pretend they were alone, that Kieren was whispering that terrifying story of rising from the dead to him in the stony darkness of _just them._

But it wasn’t, and when Kieren stood up and stormed out with the Irish one he felt a wave of longing and hated himself for it. 

\----

A long time later Gary wasn’t entirely sure what prompted him to do so, but showing up to Kieren’s house and dismissing Dean just simply felt like something he should’ve done. 

But when he stepped inside hot anger ignited in his chest and he couldn’t help himself, so when he reached Kieren’s bedroom he took the upper hand because he damn well deserved it. 

Finding the Blue Oblivion was no more than a pleasant surprise. 

And, when he looked down at the bottle of drugs, a convenient idea took hold of his mind and refused to let go.

It was a horrible idea, angry and sadistic, but some part of Gary needed it. 

Getting Kieren into his car was a challenge, because he’d always been a fighter, but Gary managed the feat well enough and shoved him roughly into the car, not saying a word to the boy as he drove. 

He was disgusted with himself. 

He hoped Kieren died. Maybe then he’d get some peace. 

So he did it, forced the drug into Kieren’s system and let him run as far as his clumsy legs could carry him. 

And then, the Irish one showed up again. 

He looked far too close to interjecting himself into the situation for Gary’s liking, so he stepped forward and held him back by his neck. 

There was a knife in his hand and vaguely, Gary wondered why. But before he could so more than turn his head towards Kieren and put the pieces together everything went black, the last thing on his breath a whispered and desperate, _”Kieren.”_


End file.
